I am still here …
I cannot explain why I am still alive. It’s like being born again or having a second chance. The last time I felt like this was ten years ago when I was hanging on 220 Volts. I was sanding a wooden floor and drove the sander across its power cord. Back then the circuit breaker saved my life. This time it was my helmet and a rope bag that softened the blow when I hit ground. I am lucky - extremely lucky. “We are glad the guardian angels did their job”, mom and dad said. “You send them every week” (at the end of our obligatory weekly phone call), I said.
The terms of your existence can change any second.
A small rock gully seemed to be the obvious way to ascend in order to set up a top rope for climbing Black Lung, a nice 5.11 at the far right of the Puriton Creekside Cliff. It was supposed to be our last climb after Marital Bliss and Unknown. Dugan and Tucky sorted out gear while I took off, scrambling up the roughly 40 degree rock gully to set up the top rope. After about 15 meters, I started to question my judgment. Too late!? I carried a rope bag that got in the way of scrambling and the rock became increasingly lose. It was only 5 meters to top out of the gully so I decided to keep going and grabbed a large rock fin, the perfect hold for my right hand, I thought. But not so! The same rock, the size of a suitcase, came loose and blew me off my feet immediately. Within milliseconds I was on my way to hit ground hard at G-force. Rocks hissed by like projectiles. Reality blurred into a spinning wheel of colors. My body fell. My mind blacked out in disbelief.
Quiet …. peace … then I woke.
“Where am I?”, I asked. Somebody stabilized my neck while others checked for bleeding and called the medics. The rescue personnel arrived within half an hour and strapped me onto a backboard. I loved it. I felt stable and secure as my climbing partners carried me down to the medical transporter. Usually it’s five minutes to the road – but it was more like thirty to get across talus and through thick brush.
With adrenalin … time flew by.
My memory came back. I had survived. “But will I keep access to my life - the access I took for granted every single day of play during my thirty four years?” After an hour’s drive to the hospital, x-rays revealed: compression fracture on vertebrae T11 (mid-back), broken 6th rib, and lacerations on my left shin, left hip, head, and chin. My helmet broke but my spinal cord seemed to be O.K.! I was extremely lucky.
I have been given the world again.
Then, they rushed me to the operating room. A sharp rock cut all the way to the bone scraping off bone pieces. My wounds needed to be cleaned and stitched up in order to prevent bone infection. I felt the anesthesia hit like fuzzy warm liquid rushing quickly into the farthest parts of my body.
I went under … and woke … a second time.
About nine hours after my accident, I was fixed. It was midnight, May 17th 2009. Dugan stayed with me all this time. He slept on the couch, checked on me during the night, brought me chocolate the next morning, and made the all important phone calls to let friends and family know about my condition. He also sent for the nurse when I needed any kind of relief.
Loved ones … care about you.
One of the toughest challenges was to keep adequate communication between me and my family in Germany. Nobody around me spoke German but my girlfriend Darcy turned out to be my magician acting from afar. She crafted many e-mails, one of them to my parents in English. But she had to get it translated so she sent it to Kate in Alaska, who knew a friend in New Zealand who happened to be in Africa at the time and sent it to another friend in Germany, who then translated it for my parents, in just … half an hour.
Since the accident, the support and care I received from family and friends is truly breathtaking and once again reminds me what really counts in life. I know time and life will soon move quickly and this incident will remain as a stark reminder of the important things in life far aside from schedules, plans, and work. It’s good to sometimes re-discover what it means to hang out and enjoy each others’ company rather than resuming the solitary independent ways of modern life.
To this day, it remains a miracle to me where I was during my black out and what it meant. Was I losing consciousness because my body’s protective mechanism kicked in to conserve valuable life resources? Was it because my mind could not process the overload of horror I found myself in? Or was it the first step on a path we all need to walk some day?

talking to Darcy - am Telefon mit Darcy

Me on Unknown a couple hours before the accident - Ein paar Stunden vor dem Unfall kletterte ich Unknown im Vorstieg.
pictures by Bob Dugan